Read This If You Feel Like You’re Constantly Growing, Healing And Changing, But Not Getting Anywhere

Image for post
Image for post

There’s a phrase that’s tossed around a lot in new age circles, particularly when someone is dealing with a challenge in their personal life:

It refers to the idea that every time we experience an out-of-the-blue surge of emotion, or reencounter a problem we have been facing on and off again for years, it is because we are simply being made aware of a pattern in our behavior––a stored vibrational frequency––that needs to be shifted.

The idea is that when something surfaces in your consciousness, it is with purpose.

But it’s become a sort of catch-all, a way to rationalize every slight discomfort. It leads many people into this damaging cycle of constantly believing they are in an ongoing, never-ending cycle of being “healed.”

That’s true, to a degree. Life is nothing if not a process of unfolding, a journey of becoming who we most essentially are. And yet, when it comes to healing, if you aren’t better by the end, if you aren’t different when it’s over, you’re actually stuck in a dangerous pattern.

So many people get stuck in this ongoing cycle of growth, in which they unintentionally condition their minds to seek out the next thing to change, shift or fix. It seems proactive on the surface, but is symptomatic of a deeper issue.

You can have all of the wisdom, knowledge and know-how in the world, but until you are living in simple joy each day, you are not truly awake. You are not truly healed.

If you think you’re healing but not actually changing all that much, you’ve probably become addicted to the idea of bettering yourself. And when there’s nothing left to fix, no further problems to address? You create some out of nothing.

When you are in a place of constantly believing you are changing and growing, you are turning yourself into someone who always has something to overcome.

Here’s an example:

I am healthier than I have ever been.

I am in better shape than I have ever been.

I am in a better financial place than I have ever been.

I am happier than I have ever been.

I am more at peace than I have ever been.

I am more proud of my work than I have ever been.

I am more grounded than I have ever been.

I am more capable of breathing in and completely experiencing life than I have ever been.

You can see how vast a shift this is from thinking: “I want to be healthier, I am working on being in shape, I am trying to be better with money, I desire happiness.”

People who are addicted to self-growth tend to be more sensitive than others, and therefore, more vulnerable. Working on themselves constantly is a sort of defense mechanism, a way to identify and eliminate threats before they face them.

With all of that said, personal development isn’t just a good thing, it’s a virtue. It’s something to which every one of us needs to commit if we want to be who we want to be and live as we want to live.

So how do we tell the difference between what’s an actual issue that needs to be resolved and a pain pattern that is keeping us trapped?

It’s tricky, but the answer is to cross-check the pain with logic. You need to ask yourself: Am I in danger of somehow ruining my life or hurting myself? If the answer is yes, change needs to be made. If the answer is no, it’s a pain pattern that needs to be released.

The trick of any real change is that you are no longer ruminating on the past, but using all of your energy and intention to create the present, and the future.

Regardless of where you are, this is where we all truly begin: when you are ready to arrive into today and start experiencing life rather than just trying to survive it, you’re accomplishing the deepest healing of all.

Written by

Writer. For my books and mentoring sessions, visit, or reach me here:

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store