If someone has no intent of seeing the best in you, they won’t. ⠀
There is absolutely nothing you can do that will satisfy or impress someone who is committed to finding fault in you.
There is no level of perfection you can reach that will be good enough for someone who has no intention of being with you.⠀
If you want to see the good in someone, you’ll find it. If you want to see the bad, you’ll find that, too. Sometimes, your best efforts fall short not because you’re not enough, but because you’ll never be enough to someone who has no desire to see you that way.
You will never be enough for someone who has no intention of loving you, no matter what you try to do to become the person they say they want to be with.
Sometimes, it’s not that you aren’t what they want, but that they aren’t really looking for anything right now — and no matter how perfect you are, you’re never going to be someone they put first. This isn’t a reflection of your lack of worth, but incorrect timing. You know what they say: the right person at the wrong time is the wrong person.
There’s this theory about relationships called the “taxi cab theory of love,” and it’s the idea that people — often men, in particular—do not have a successful relationship with anyone until their “taxi light” is on. If you happen to be the person who hails the cab when the light is on, it tends to be a long ride. If you hail the cab when the light isn’t on, you’re going to sit there until they either are ready to turn it on, or you get so fed up you go hail another one.
The point is simple: a relationship with a person who does not want to be in a relationship is not going to be a relationship at all.
It doesn’t matter how electric your connection is, how much self-work you’ve done, how much you’ll offer long-term, how perfect everyone thinks you would be together.
There are no stars that can align that will cross out the sheer fact that a person who is not ready for a relationship is not a person who is going to be with you, no matter what emotional gymnastics you do in order to try to convince them otherwise.
Sure, meeting the right person can make it the right time — but if despite all of your perfection someone is still not choosing you, the answer is clear: they aren’t choosing you, and sometimes, it doesn’t really have anything to do with you.
So the next time that you’re all caught up on why you weren’t the right person for that person, why you weren’t attractive enough, successful enough, good enough, remember that you’re never going to be enough for someone who has no intention of seeing you as enough.
People will see what they want to see in others.
People will see what they want to see in you.
Instead of worrying that you can or cannot convince someone to see what you want them to, maybe focus instead on trying to find a person who is ready and able to see everything you have to offer, because maybe they’re ready for someone to see that in them as well.